Christmas in September: The Dolphins, Week 3 picks, and a Plea to the NHL
The following thought came to me while walking to the T Friday morning, and I had to share:
It's Christmas in September, thanks to the Miami Dolphins.
Da-da-da-dum.
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.
In case you are football illiterate, the Dolphins have always had this tendency to really...how do I put this kindly...suck around December. Several sportswriters always make reference to the annual December downfall of the Dolphins (and not just because it's excellent alliteration.) But this year, they've decided to not have actual ready-for-the-NFL quarterbacks, and therefore, their suckiness has come along four months early. Nice to all of us of fans of other teams in the AFC East, because it means the constant threat of "this actually is the Dolphins' year" doesn't exist. Great news to us Bills fans--it means we actually might be better than someone this year. Squishing the fish shouldn't be too hard this year, providing Bledsoe maintains the limited quarterbacking capacity he has left. It might actually be a good game...and by good, I mean, "evenly matched up." I didn't actually mean the teams were good. Oh no, not at all.
But is this game this weekend? No. Do I get to get phone calls from my parents talk about squishing fish and reminiscing about the infamous "Mom causing Dan Marino's freak devastating ACL injury in 1993" incident, which led my father for years following to ask us all when we hurt ourselves, "Oh, is it your anterior cruciate ligament?" thinking that was the most witty remark he could ever make? (I don't even know if it was an ACL injury to Marino--but in Hasenauer lore it is.)
No.
It is a bye for the Pats and Bills. Unfortunately, it is not for the Niners. Can the Niners' go on a permanent bye until Donahue and the rest of his front office decides that in football, money is for spending, not sitting on? Great, you're rebuilding your team with draft picks. Fine. That's a commendable way to go. However...if you don't have veterans, who are the draft picks supposed to emulate? Sure, they have...like one veteran. Jeremy Newberry, who is now out indefinitely, and who wasn't the best offensive lineman ever in the first place (he's the one who missed the block that allowed Aeneas Williams to sack Steve Young to end his career) counts as their like one veteran. Tim Rattay? Not a veteran. Okay, wait, they have a really good cornerback guy that I read about in ESPN the Magazine...and he's not such the young chicken. Oh okay. I was wrong. The Niners have two veterans. My mistake.
Mind you, due to work, I have yet to watch a good amount of football yet this season, and we are entering week 3. This is a travesty. However, I have set aside this Sunday to wake up at 10, eat breakfast, then sit in bed and watch Steve Young out yell Michael Irvin for two hours while Chris Berman screams random things about frozen tundras. It's good stuff. For those unaware, that's the equivalent of watching a debate between that good looking and amazingly successful guy everyone hates because he just knows he's right and has some kind of debate training to back it up and a frantic drug addict who insists that he's right despite the fact that he couldn't tell you that 2 + 2 = 4, all while your middle aged goofy uncle attempts to referee. Oh, and after that I'll watch some football games, all while writing a paper about the "double edged sword" of community colleges. Ahh, some things never change: Sundays = football and homework. Well, until next year, when it equals just football, which will be amazingly weird.
So providing that I've neglected picking games so far this season due to my busy schedule and my need to devote appropriate time to my fantasy standings, I give you my picks for Week 3. I may be rusty, so let me feel it out this weekend.
St. Louis over New Orleans (I am the most iffy about this one)
Pittsburgh over Miami (Go Class of '04!)
Minnesota over Chicago (I hate the Vikings. I pity the Bears. However, I am realistic.)
Giants over Cleveland (Hate Garcia. The Browns also lost like their whole offense last week, so Garcia must be lamenting that he would of had more offensive weapons right now on the Niners than he does right now with the Browns.)
Atlanta over Arizona (Vick = A cocky Steve Young. Arizona = worst team ever except for Fitzgerald and the fact that their coach is Dennis Green. My family is partial to Green, and I don't really know why, but we always have been.)
Indianapolis over Green Bay (This is Manning's league right now, whether he deserves it or not.)
Baltimore over Cincinnati (and if they don't, I'm screwed fantasy wise)
Philadelphia over Detroit (Love ya Mooch. However, I adore the anchors of both my fantasy teams just a bit more, and after Monday night, I am convinced that I made the right decision with them.)
Tennessee over Jacksonville (Second least sure about. I hope I get to see some of this one--I don't know what either team is really like this year, and seeing them is ten times better than reading about them after a while.)
Kansas City over Houston (The Chiefs are due. They aren't as bad as everyone is making them out to be. They just have senile, weirdo, or both coaches and coordinators.)
Denver over San Diego (Bring back Flutie!!!!!!!!!!!! Come on, you know Flutie would beat Plummer. You know Flutie would beat Drew Brees for that matter. Or maybe it's just I who will still be picking Flutie when he's 60 and doing Canadian infomericals.)
Seattle over San Fransisico (Sniffle, sniffle, tear. Dorsey's hot. Rattay's not bad. Why must they lose?)
Oakland over Tampa Bay (Even though Oakland got rid of Rick Mirer. He's gone to a better place, and that would be backing up Joey Harrington. Sigh...where did the Class of 1993 go wrong?)
Washington over Dallas (Feel better soon, Brunell. Although I have been told never to pick against Parcells, I think it's safe to this year.)
I think I'll be lucky if I go 7-7 this week. It takes a week for me to get into the swing of the season.
******
Welcome to the SAO:
Two weekends ago, I had to take the student group I advise on a retreat, and the car ride activity in the van I was in was to name your Top 5. Of course, I being the new intern, I was one of the first targets. Of the top of my head I named:
1) Steve Young
2) Mark Brunell
3) Tom Brady
4) Jerome Ignilia
5) Gabe Kapler
Not that those are really my top 5, but they were what I could come up with at the time. My boss laughed at me, and when we were talking about it in the office a few days later, said, "To name her top 5, all you do is just name 3-4 NFL quarterbacks and then fill the rest with two random athletes."
I beg to differ. Gabe Kapler is not a random athlete. He's the hottest baseball player ever to exist in the history of the game. That's definitely not random.
******
A short plea to the NHL:
Dear NHL players, owners, and involved parties;
I have recently become single again, therefore I need you to start playing so that I can be easily distracted from my single status. I also have become somewhat attached to writing papers while listening to NHL Radio online, and I fear without that to listen to, my grades will diminish. While I understand I'm probably the last one holding out hope left in America, and that this further proves what a Canadian I really am, I hope that you all take my reasons into account.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
-Katherine
******
So I take the bus to work about 60% of the time now. And they have these prerecorded announcements that order us, the T riders, to "report any suspicious activity to the driver," like the subway does.
Have you ever taken a bus in Boston? If I followed those instructions, I would be sitting in the driver's lap the duration of my 20 minute ride.
******
Personal Note of the Week: I am 3 for 3 in "not only keeping all composure while being dumped, but in keeping the guy as a friend." I need to teach classes in this. I am single handedly transforming the stereotype of the dumped girl, one breakup of mine at a time.
I'll give you secret #1, free of charge.
1) Have six tons of work due the next day.
It's saved me quite a few times, if not all.
******
I have yet to catch the new season of Dream Job because I work Tuesday nights, and ESPN is not repeating it yet, but it doesn't surprise me that the two top contestants right now are Syracuse alums. When I went to the auditions back in July, the guy I thought would definitely make it from Boston was a Syracuse alum. They're extremely well-spoken and definitely know what they're doing. This guy had resumes, a tape of his work, references, detailed writing examples...when we hadn't been asked to bring anything. It was hard core.
It also sounds like the women stink this year. I will make no comment on that, except that you could of avoided that by picking any girl from Boston. It makes me not wonder if they don't want the women to succeed...but I'll wait to pass judgment until I can actually see an episode.
Realistically, could I ever make it on Dream Job? Heck no. I mean, in case you haven't noticed, I stutter. Not the best trait for a sportscaster to have. So I don't mind sitting back and watching.
If I ever get to catch an episode, that is.
******
Signs that my life is wicked different than it was five months ago:
It's sad when you get up at 8:30, and you consider that sleeping in.
I can shop at Sephora.
My jeans are collecting dust because I can't wear them to work.
I can go shopping at the Pru and at Copley on my free Friday nights. (I love Back Bay on Friday and Saturday nights. It's the epitome of what I dreamed my life in Boston would be like.)
But some things never change: I work either Friday or Saturday night every weekend, and it's September, and I'm battling laryngitis.
Till next time...
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Sunday, September 05, 2004
The Super Post: Young's 8 Best Moments, Me & Fantasy Football, and Other Stuff...
While watching the Patriots-Panthers preseason game last Saturday night, I saw a commercial for the "Super Bowl Collection"--Super Bowls I-X and XI-XX in 5 DVD collections. Well, if they have up to 20, they've got to have plans for at least up through 30, so I scrambled online to Amazon.com to see what I could find out. Good news: Super Bowls XXI-XXX comes out the first week of November. Score! Just in time for my birthday and the holidays. I wrote in my profile that the only thing that would beat this would be 5 DVDs of just Steve Young.
Hmmm....
If Bill Simmons was allowed to program a whole weekend of NBA TV, during which he did a 24 hour Larry Bird marathon, I think I am allowed to give a list of Steve Young moments I want on DVD or on a weekend of NFL Network (well, provided I have NFL Network at the time it airs. That's my next goal in life. 1) Graduate college. Done. 2) Move to Boston. Done. 3) Get NFL Network. Still working on it.)
So I thought about it as I went to bed. And here's a partial list.
1) Super Bowl XXIX. A no-brainer. (And can I just say that while I was looking on Amazon for the DVDs, I finally finally found the 1994 San Francisco 49ers season yearbook video. You know, the collection they make for every Super Bowl Champion? I think the Patriots one is called "3 Games to Glory II" or something like that. I should know this by heart--that and "Still We Believe: The Red Sox Story" is for sale absolutely everywhere. Well, anyway, I finally found it--I didn't own it originally because I was too young to order it when it came out. Guess what I'm buying after I finish buying my textbooks?)
2) The Deflection Return. I forget the team it was against, but it's when he threw the ball, and two defenders jumped up in tandem to deflect it. They succeeded...but who ended up catching it?
Steve Young.
For years, my father has defended Young in any discussion about great quarterbacks by saying one sentence. "Only one quarterback that I can remember has ever caught his own pass."
3) The Run Against the Vikings: October 30, 1988--This is when Young was still a backup. Legend has it that this run was the first time Chris Berman said, "He could....go....all....the...way!!!!!" I am unsure as to if this is true, but when I was in middle school, that run was used all the time in highlight reels. Of course, I didn't see it when it happened: I was all of 6 years old and was a tad more concerned with first grade at the time.
4) The Spike Against The Bears, NFC Divisional Playoff, January 1995--I mentioned this in my 5 Hottest Quarterbacks entry in January. The Bears just were steamrolled over by the Niners, and it was the first and I think only time I ever saw Steve Young spike the ball after he ran it in for a touchdown.
5) "There's Joy in Mudville" The 94 NFC Championship Game-- If you lived in Western NY in January 1995, even if you hated the Niners, you loved this game, because it denied the evil Cowboys a third straight Super Bowl. I still have the newspaper from the day after that game, and the lead headline of the sports section reads, "THERE'S JOY IN MUDVILLE," commenting on the soggy state of Candlestick Park during that game.
6) Monday Night Football Opener 1994, Niners vs. Raiders--This is when Jerry Rice broke some record that I'm blanking on against the Raiders. The Raiders were never even in it. I loved that game. I have the newspaper clippings from he day after that game somewhere in my mess of a room (I just moved into a new apartment. Don't ask me where anything is.)
7) The Comeback II: Niners v. Packers, 1999: I remember screaming at the television with my entire family. We couldn't believe they had finally beaten the Packers in the playoffs. I had given up on that game too--my father had actually walked into the kitchen, resigned that the Niners had lost. And all of a sudden, Owens made that catch and they won. Great ending. Young's last playoff victory.
8) Any Niners game where James Brown broke in during the third quarter to say, "With the Niners up a gazillion to 3 against some really bad team, we are now switching you to a more competitive contest." I only want those because I never got to see the rest of those games because we were switched out of them.
Those are the immediate 8 that I think of off the top of my head. There are definitely more, I just need more time and more resources around me to figure them out.
Consequently, this past week, ESPN Page 2 named Young's 1994 season sixth out of the 100 greatest individual seasons in the past 25 years. Right on, ESPN. He was the highest ranked football player. Argue what you may, but I think Steve Young takes whatever accolades he can get, considering he'll probably have to wait a while to get into the Hall of Fame (throwing my famous Hall of Fame trip off by a few years), so let him have this little one.
***
So I have become a fantasy football junkie. For the first time in my life, I have been invited to play--and not just in one league, but in two. I am going into this hard-core. I am determined for this not to be a repeat of my fantasy baseball league, where I lost all hope back in June. I haven't won since the end of May. This is because I barely know baseball. I know enough...but not enough to really succeed. I gave it a good shot though.
But the thing with fantasy football is...well, I know football. Now, had I done fantasy football when I was 15, I would of seriously kicked everyone in the world's butt, as I regularly did with football picks during my entire adolescence (and as I still routinely do now that I'm entering my mid-20s--eek, in 4 months I will be in my mid-20s. Freaky moment right there.) So this should ultimately be far less embarrassing than baseball was.
Out of my two teams, I have to say the Boston Bearcats outdoes The Bearcats (okay, I lack all imagination with team names.) And this is because of one reason: I drafted one far later than the other--aka, I had more time to research. Unfortunately, The Bearcats is in the most competitive fantasy football league you could probably ever be in (otherwise known as the MCFFLYCPEBI....or not.) I swear, the commish (one of my good friends from Ithaca) should probably change the league's name to that. But not to fret--the core of both my teams is exactly the same: McNabb and T.O. My dad and I agreed that has the makings of an excellent team. It also could completely tank, but let's hope they're as prolific as they are being made out to be. Both my defenses totally rock as well: New England in one, Baltimore in the other. Speaking of Patriots, I also have David Givens, i.e. the only football player Marsha knows because she was forced to watch the Super Bowl and thought he was the hottest. He's also a pretty good wide receiver. I know, I know, WRs don't make fantasy teams, running backs do. Well, I do have to say I'm set with The Bearcats on the RB front: Bettis and Staley. Hate the Steelers, love their RBs. Anyone whose nickname is "The Bus" gets on my team.
So as of Thursday, we will see if I can contest in the land of fantasy football after a good two years of wanting to be a part of a league. Of course, I'll still pick games. I need to back up my ego on something.
***
On the non-football front, the last week has been nuts. I moved into a new apartment and started my graduate assistantship with the Student Activities Office at Boston University. So far it is an awesome position--the office, the professional staff and the students are great. We went on a retreat to the Cape and it was very informative and a lot of fun. I just have to get used to not being student staff, but on par with the professionals. It can be very confusing. I'm still working for my Boston Mom at PERD (my boss there, Barbara, has been amazing this summer--she has become like my best friend in Boston, or at least my second mother) as well. I love my jobs...except for the florist. That is on the backburner. I'll be there when I have time...which looks to be never.
My new apartment is nice as well, and Caitlin and I are busy reliving freshmen year at Ithaca. Caitlin's first day in the apartment, we had crab rangoon. It's just like three years ago...except we're 22, not 18, we're in an apartment in Chestnut Hill, not Tracy's and I room in Terrace 5 and we're in grad school, not undergrad. Oh, and the crab rangoon is not from Jade Garden on the Commons, but Chang's House on Commonwealth Ave.
I should mention my two weeks of Olympics devotion--even though my Summer Olympic devotion is far far less involved than my Winter Olympics devotion is. For one, I was way disappointed in the makeup of the women's gymnastics team--no "Scrunchie Girl." Plus, I honestly don't think Annia Hatch deserved a silver medal on vault. She's a consistent vaulter, but not an awesome vaulter. In the individual vault event, there were at least two, three people better than she was. Plus, how can you leave off Holly Vise? It was just a weirdly put together team, but they did get it right with Courtney Kupets and Carly Patterson. Swimmers are fun to watch, but since I can't swim all that well, I can't relate. And that's about it. Give me figure skating, hockey, and bobsledding over softball, beach volleyball and basketball any day.
I don't know when I'll get the chance to post again, but I'll try my best to make it soon!
While watching the Patriots-Panthers preseason game last Saturday night, I saw a commercial for the "Super Bowl Collection"--Super Bowls I-X and XI-XX in 5 DVD collections. Well, if they have up to 20, they've got to have plans for at least up through 30, so I scrambled online to Amazon.com to see what I could find out. Good news: Super Bowls XXI-XXX comes out the first week of November. Score! Just in time for my birthday and the holidays. I wrote in my profile that the only thing that would beat this would be 5 DVDs of just Steve Young.
Hmmm....
If Bill Simmons was allowed to program a whole weekend of NBA TV, during which he did a 24 hour Larry Bird marathon, I think I am allowed to give a list of Steve Young moments I want on DVD or on a weekend of NFL Network (well, provided I have NFL Network at the time it airs. That's my next goal in life. 1) Graduate college. Done. 2) Move to Boston. Done. 3) Get NFL Network. Still working on it.)
So I thought about it as I went to bed. And here's a partial list.
1) Super Bowl XXIX. A no-brainer. (And can I just say that while I was looking on Amazon for the DVDs, I finally finally found the 1994 San Francisco 49ers season yearbook video. You know, the collection they make for every Super Bowl Champion? I think the Patriots one is called "3 Games to Glory II" or something like that. I should know this by heart--that and "Still We Believe: The Red Sox Story" is for sale absolutely everywhere. Well, anyway, I finally found it--I didn't own it originally because I was too young to order it when it came out. Guess what I'm buying after I finish buying my textbooks?)
2) The Deflection Return. I forget the team it was against, but it's when he threw the ball, and two defenders jumped up in tandem to deflect it. They succeeded...but who ended up catching it?
Steve Young.
For years, my father has defended Young in any discussion about great quarterbacks by saying one sentence. "Only one quarterback that I can remember has ever caught his own pass."
3) The Run Against the Vikings: October 30, 1988--This is when Young was still a backup. Legend has it that this run was the first time Chris Berman said, "He could....go....all....the...way!!!!!" I am unsure as to if this is true, but when I was in middle school, that run was used all the time in highlight reels. Of course, I didn't see it when it happened: I was all of 6 years old and was a tad more concerned with first grade at the time.
4) The Spike Against The Bears, NFC Divisional Playoff, January 1995--I mentioned this in my 5 Hottest Quarterbacks entry in January. The Bears just were steamrolled over by the Niners, and it was the first and I think only time I ever saw Steve Young spike the ball after he ran it in for a touchdown.
5) "There's Joy in Mudville" The 94 NFC Championship Game-- If you lived in Western NY in January 1995, even if you hated the Niners, you loved this game, because it denied the evil Cowboys a third straight Super Bowl. I still have the newspaper from the day after that game, and the lead headline of the sports section reads, "THERE'S JOY IN MUDVILLE," commenting on the soggy state of Candlestick Park during that game.
6) Monday Night Football Opener 1994, Niners vs. Raiders--This is when Jerry Rice broke some record that I'm blanking on against the Raiders. The Raiders were never even in it. I loved that game. I have the newspaper clippings from he day after that game somewhere in my mess of a room (I just moved into a new apartment. Don't ask me where anything is.)
7) The Comeback II: Niners v. Packers, 1999: I remember screaming at the television with my entire family. We couldn't believe they had finally beaten the Packers in the playoffs. I had given up on that game too--my father had actually walked into the kitchen, resigned that the Niners had lost. And all of a sudden, Owens made that catch and they won. Great ending. Young's last playoff victory.
8) Any Niners game where James Brown broke in during the third quarter to say, "With the Niners up a gazillion to 3 against some really bad team, we are now switching you to a more competitive contest." I only want those because I never got to see the rest of those games because we were switched out of them.
Those are the immediate 8 that I think of off the top of my head. There are definitely more, I just need more time and more resources around me to figure them out.
Consequently, this past week, ESPN Page 2 named Young's 1994 season sixth out of the 100 greatest individual seasons in the past 25 years. Right on, ESPN. He was the highest ranked football player. Argue what you may, but I think Steve Young takes whatever accolades he can get, considering he'll probably have to wait a while to get into the Hall of Fame (throwing my famous Hall of Fame trip off by a few years), so let him have this little one.
***
So I have become a fantasy football junkie. For the first time in my life, I have been invited to play--and not just in one league, but in two. I am going into this hard-core. I am determined for this not to be a repeat of my fantasy baseball league, where I lost all hope back in June. I haven't won since the end of May. This is because I barely know baseball. I know enough...but not enough to really succeed. I gave it a good shot though.
But the thing with fantasy football is...well, I know football. Now, had I done fantasy football when I was 15, I would of seriously kicked everyone in the world's butt, as I regularly did with football picks during my entire adolescence (and as I still routinely do now that I'm entering my mid-20s--eek, in 4 months I will be in my mid-20s. Freaky moment right there.) So this should ultimately be far less embarrassing than baseball was.
Out of my two teams, I have to say the Boston Bearcats outdoes The Bearcats (okay, I lack all imagination with team names.) And this is because of one reason: I drafted one far later than the other--aka, I had more time to research. Unfortunately, The Bearcats is in the most competitive fantasy football league you could probably ever be in (otherwise known as the MCFFLYCPEBI....or not.) I swear, the commish (one of my good friends from Ithaca) should probably change the league's name to that. But not to fret--the core of both my teams is exactly the same: McNabb and T.O. My dad and I agreed that has the makings of an excellent team. It also could completely tank, but let's hope they're as prolific as they are being made out to be. Both my defenses totally rock as well: New England in one, Baltimore in the other. Speaking of Patriots, I also have David Givens, i.e. the only football player Marsha knows because she was forced to watch the Super Bowl and thought he was the hottest. He's also a pretty good wide receiver. I know, I know, WRs don't make fantasy teams, running backs do. Well, I do have to say I'm set with The Bearcats on the RB front: Bettis and Staley. Hate the Steelers, love their RBs. Anyone whose nickname is "The Bus" gets on my team.
So as of Thursday, we will see if I can contest in the land of fantasy football after a good two years of wanting to be a part of a league. Of course, I'll still pick games. I need to back up my ego on something.
***
On the non-football front, the last week has been nuts. I moved into a new apartment and started my graduate assistantship with the Student Activities Office at Boston University. So far it is an awesome position--the office, the professional staff and the students are great. We went on a retreat to the Cape and it was very informative and a lot of fun. I just have to get used to not being student staff, but on par with the professionals. It can be very confusing. I'm still working for my Boston Mom at PERD (my boss there, Barbara, has been amazing this summer--she has become like my best friend in Boston, or at least my second mother) as well. I love my jobs...except for the florist. That is on the backburner. I'll be there when I have time...which looks to be never.
My new apartment is nice as well, and Caitlin and I are busy reliving freshmen year at Ithaca. Caitlin's first day in the apartment, we had crab rangoon. It's just like three years ago...except we're 22, not 18, we're in an apartment in Chestnut Hill, not Tracy's and I room in Terrace 5 and we're in grad school, not undergrad. Oh, and the crab rangoon is not from Jade Garden on the Commons, but Chang's House on Commonwealth Ave.
I should mention my two weeks of Olympics devotion--even though my Summer Olympic devotion is far far less involved than my Winter Olympics devotion is. For one, I was way disappointed in the makeup of the women's gymnastics team--no "Scrunchie Girl." Plus, I honestly don't think Annia Hatch deserved a silver medal on vault. She's a consistent vaulter, but not an awesome vaulter. In the individual vault event, there were at least two, three people better than she was. Plus, how can you leave off Holly Vise? It was just a weirdly put together team, but they did get it right with Courtney Kupets and Carly Patterson. Swimmers are fun to watch, but since I can't swim all that well, I can't relate. And that's about it. Give me figure skating, hockey, and bobsledding over softball, beach volleyball and basketball any day.
I don't know when I'll get the chance to post again, but I'll try my best to make it soon!
